Ralph Fletcher says it doesn’t matter how pretty your words are if you have nothing to say. People only read for insight. To learn something. To be changed. He followed that assertion with example after example of the most delicious prose, most of it written by eight year olds. The paragraphs were like trays of canapés: the boy who wrote about the roofers who killed his cat; the boy who wrote about the executioner who had to chase Lady Jane Gray around the chopping block, because with his first whack he failed to make contact with her neck; a naturalist who wrote the most beautiful passage I have ever read about sky, beginning with the startling observation that sky doesn’t live overhead, it starts under our feet, at the edge of solid ground. What made the paragraphs beautiful wasn’t their words, but their ideas— what the writer was trying to say.

That’s why you have to practice. To figure out what you don’t know, and what you do know, and what you are curious about. As soon as you start writing you realize you have plenty to say, and also plenty of things you notice, and plenty that you wonder. Unless you start writing, you will never know any of it. It burbles, deep and hidden, like the molten core of the earth.

Reading a book on craft, in which the author said writers love words the way carpenters love wood and naturalists love fauna— the texture, the sound, the rhythm and sometimes, but not always, the sense. That idea filled me with hope. Maybe I am a writer, because I have a little-kid enthusiasm for words, an overweening enthusiasm: indolent, I say to myself, over and over, after hearing about Barbara’s cancer, indolent, seeing lazy predators, sunning on a rock, sullen adolescents. I am driven to sharpen and soften and slice the passages I read, even when I’m reading instruction manuals or cookbooks, loving to touch and fiddle with words as much as some people like to garden or cook. A bad day can be entirely improved by working with somebody on their writing. It never once occurred to me that this might be a clue. All these years looking for proof that I am a writer and not finding it: you are a writer if you write every day. You are a writer if you can’t stop yourself from writing, if stories crowd your head, desperate to get out. You are a writer if you have something important to say. Nope. Nope. Nope. But words. Oh yeah. I definitely got that.

Which books have made me want to write, or read, or just glad to be in the world?
Wonder.
Fault in Our Stars.
Looking for Alaska.
It’s Kind of A Funny Story.
Okay for Now.
Eleanor and Park.

Also:
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.
Treasure Island.
A Constellation of Vital Phenomena.
The Art of Fielding.

The internet is busy with writers, their opinions on writing, and books, and movies, and girls, and habits, and politics, and some of it is interesting, and some of it is helpful, but it also sets my mind whirling and buzzing at an uncomfortable pitch. The world is chock full of clever multitaskers. I struggle to get my teeth brushed. Other peoples’ opinions make me nervous.

And now, almost everything I read online has the power to make me nervous: how the publishing industry is imploding, or how you need to choose your genre as a writer, or how writing itself is obsolete because of Instagram. I feel like one of those cart horses, hobbled by peripheral vision. I need hoods over my eyes to keep me from startling, to help me plod forward, following the lines in the road.

The lines in the road: be kind to yourself. Keep the goals small and simple. Forgive yourself for not being as slickly perfect as you had hoped.